The Pursuit of Healing

What a crazy past few weeks. Lately I feel like I have been the front seat passenger on an emotional roller coaster that I am not ready to handle. My life is changing, which is not a bad thing. It hurts, and it is painful, but I know that God is working up something great.  In the past week, I have moved to Cran-Hill Ranch. The process of adjusting to a new lifestyle, a new way of doing things is hard. Emotionally I am all over the place. I am trying to live in the present. To enjoy what I am doing now, and be excited about what I am doing. It's a hard thing for me. I am excited to be on this journey with God, but it's hard not to feel alone in my circumstances. I am learning to recognize the wounds that I have. The deep seeded emotional wounds that I have. Why do I feel the way I do? Why do I hurt the way I do? Why is is so hard for me to be real with people? These are all questions that I am learning how to answer for myself. This is all the process of healing.

“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds." Hosea 6:1

Recently I read in 'My Utmost for His Highest' this devotional, and it hits right at home for me.

"The first thing that God does with us is to get us based on rugged Reality until we do not care what becomes of us individually as long as He gets His way for the purpose of His Redemption. Why shouldn't we go through heartbreaks? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us fall and collapse at the first grip of pain; we sit down on the threshold of God's purpose and die away in self-pity, and all so-called Christian sympathy will aid us to our death bed. But God will not, He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, and says.--"Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart." 

-Oswald Chambers