April, Oh April

  So April has come and gone. Man, just when I thought I thought I had it all together, April flies right by. This month has been a good, challenging, and a month filed with growth.  First of all, God never fails to remind me of how much I desperately need to be trusting him. I feel like this is a constant lesson that I am learning, but it is defiinently a good lesson to be learning.  Recently I have been more adamant about looking into, and researching where I will be going to school, after I am finished with the discipleship program. God has made it clear to me that there is a big difference between what I want, and what he has planned. I know that is going to be a process of application to different school, and hold fast, and trusting in what God has for me. It is something that I am not looking forward to going through again, but am exited for the future, and what God will do. 

We were doing some training on the climbing wall that we have here at camp, and we decided to do some climbing on the most challenging portion of the wall. I ha done it before, but though t I would give it another shot because I had never made it to. I made it about 3/4 up the wall, when I decided that I didn't want to go any further. I stopped because I was afraid of falling, and even though I knew I was safe,I continued to be afraid. God spoke to me there on the wall. He told me that I have been holding on too tight for too long, to certain areas of my life. I just have to be able to trust him to guide me, and keep me safe. I believe that he will with all my heart, but the fact of surrendering over my life, and dieing to self, is a constant battle. 

I thank God for what He is teaching me, and how is challenging me. I am eternally thankful for the sacrifice that Jesus made 2000 years ago, to save me from myself. So often I see myself getting in the way of what God is trying to do. I tell myself many times, to just step aside, and let God reign in my life. Man is that a hard lesson to learn.

This is the verse that God has laid on my heart for this month,

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
   "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
      and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
      and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
-Hebrews 12:1-7